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From: ian@freeverse.com
Subject: Jared's Christmas v.97
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM YOUR ATONAL AMIGO.
- JARED, THE BUTCHER OF SONG
WIRED MAGAZINE (May 97) raved that JARED was, "Sickingly Hypnotic!"
TIME MAGAZINE digital (Oct. 97) proclaimed JARED the "Worst Multimedia Ever"
MacroMedia licenced JARED for the "About Box" of their flagship, DIRECTOR 6!!!
(just let it run, JARED will show up when he's good and ready.
Now he's back for a very special holiday song.
Download today, it's FREE!
JARED'S CHRISTMAS©
(Liner Notes)
Reprinted with permission from
"Touching Me, Touching You, Touching Me Again: A JARED discography".
While Central America has seen more than its share of atrocities in recent years;
never before has a lovely Christmas song been brutalized as thoroughly as by the
vocal stylings of JARED, the Head of Security at FREEVERSE SOFTWARE.
Like an angry Immigration officer, Jared's distinctive rendition grabs us, slaps
us around, threatens to cavity search us and ultimately demands our passport be
issued from that same circle of hell from which his voice originates.
Never has the mating of cats sounded so melodic as after one has listened to "El
Carnicero de Canciones," the "Butcher of Songs," as Jared was known in
Guatemala. Yet, this is perhaps the worst part; one is somehow drawn to his song,
playing it over and over again. So listen to, "Felize Navidad", and suffer --
for this is art.
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