Download guts.hqx (79,916 KB)
From: jasonrainbows@mindspring.com
Subject: G.U.T.S. requires AfterDark module, "Headlines"
Gonzo Utilities Tech Suggestions
(G.U.T.S.)
an AfterDark ScreenSaver Module
by Jason Rainbows' Magic Theatre
E-Mail: rainbow@kagi.com
URL: http://www.mindspring.com/~jasonrainbows
Requires: Any version of AfterDark Screensaver and
the module "Headlines". This module will even run on
the early 1-bit Macs and is highly recommended for
old machines!
Gonzo Utilities Tech Suggestions (G.U.T.S.) is a
BAD tech-support quote randomizer. It generates
random tech-support phrases. For example;
"The reason why you can't get anything creative
done on this beautiful machine is because somebody
left a casaba behind the Root Junction Anticipator."
or...
"I usually charge an arm-and-a-leg for my advice,
but I'll just charge the price of my vet bill as
we speak."
and...
"If you attach the Klein Bottle Densitometer to
the Excremeditator Device, your machine will
have a bad hair day."
A clever randomizing technique makes the phrases
different each time.
WARNING!!
Don't take any of this ScreenSaver's advice seriously!
It's an insane creation that should be kept in the
corner of the room, muttering to itself, where it will
do nobody any harm. If you laugh or make fun of its
ranting, you'll just encourage it to be more insane,
so don't waste your breath.
That being said, you now know what you're getting into
with this G.U.T.S. module. If you're easily offended
or stupid, you might want to pass on this one. On the
other hand - if you feel that you need a gentle nudge
in the direction of that fine line between sanity and
surreality - ...well, who am I to keep you from achieving
your goals? If you're just a normal person, like me,
you'll seriously doubt the sanity of the person who
wrote it. Since I'm a normal person, like you, then
I must be okay if I wrote it. I'm okay, you're okay.
Okay?
Good.
-Jason Rainbows
rainbow@kagi.com
http://www.mindspring.com/~jasonrainbows
"littera scripta manet - non omnis moriar"